I had an interesting experience yesterday. So, I have a ridiculous amount of allergies. Seriously, it would take at least a paragraph to list them all off. Unfortunately, my reactions can go anywhere from a bothersome, extreme headache to hives to paralyzed limbs to my throat closing, and anything/everything in between. Yay~?
So, I get times where I'm sicker and weaker than others. When I get like that, I have to stay inside for a period of time. This last time, it's been for about a month. I haven't been able to leave the house hardly at all - I went outside in the early, early morning a few weeks ago to take a few photos. That's just about it. So yesterday was my first day out in a month! It was amazing to be out of the house. :D But I'm still sick enough that it would be best if I didn't. What's the catch? I had to wear a breathing mask.
An unusual thing where I live. I happen to enjoy what I refer to as "social experiments" - doing something that breaks the social norm in my area and see what people's reactions are. I dyed my hair hot pink for a day a number of years ago and got some interesting reactions. This time, though, the "experiment" was necessary to my well-being. If it wasn't necessary for me to wear a breathing mask, I probably wouldn't. It would feel like I was making fun of someone who had to if I did. But I had to. So! I took advantage of the opportunity to observe how people reacted. I wanted to share my observations.
The most common reaction was staring. They simply stared at me, even as they were walking past; their heads would turn to continue to stare at me as long as possible. I met eye-contact a few times and just smiled. Thankfully, I'm one of those people that you can tell when they smile just by looking at their eyes. My eyes "scrunch up" when I do, and I get little lines on the outside of my eyes - the bigger the smile, the more noticeable. Same thing when I laugh. Anyway. So I just smiled at them. A few continued to stare. A small handful made an awkward attempt to smile back. A lot quickly looked away, but glanced back out of the corner of their eyes.
My favorite reactions were from children. Children will be children. :) So of course they were staring, trying to figure out why I looked so different. One child came into the store not too long after my mom and I, following his Papa and two siblings. This particular one was about two. He was following his family and then looked up at my mom when he walked past her, and then me. He stopped and stared for a minute, while shouting out to his family. Then he kept going, staring up the whole time. They passed us a couple of times, and each time this little boy would stare up at me. One of the times I waved at him, and he came to a complete stop and stared up at my for several minutes, still shouting out to his family. It made me laugh. :) His Papa wasn't phased at all by my mask, just smiled and nodded for a quick "hello".
The other one that I noted in particular was from another two year old. Maybe three. His Mama was holding him and showing him a little shirt (we were looking at baby clothes, as we were getting some for friends). Anyway, she smiled at us and the pointed at the shirt and went, "What's that? Do you know what that is?" (Pointing to the picture of a monkey on it.) The little boy was sucking his thumb and staring at me. He furrowed his eyebrows, looked at the shirt then looked at me, pointed and said, "What's that?" We laughed and told him it was a mask. So funny! Kids are hysterical; I love how honest they are. :)
Another trend I noticed with most mothers was that they would usher their kids away from the area as quickly as possible. A few mothers honest-to-goodness got their kids into another aisle and would watch me until I left, and then let the kids go back to what they were doing. One mother was in front of us at a check-out. I put my stuff down, saw in my peripheral that her little boy (no older than a year) was staring up at me. When I looked up, I looked up at her to see her also staring. I smiled and held up my hand to indicate "hello". (Wearing a mask really muffles ones voice.) Then I looked back to my things to make sure I had them where I wanted them, and then looked over to her boy. I waved at him, and he went back to play with a toy truck in his hand. I looked back up and his mother had a look of pure disgust on her face. She quickly moved in front of him to shield him from me, like I was a diseased person.
One couple I noticed in particular at yet another store were walking towards us, a few aisles down. When the woman spotted me, she stared and then laughed. Then she turned and said something to the man. He looked confused. After a second, she pulled him to the other side of some boxes as they walked past. She continued to stare at me. I made eye-contact with the both of them. What the woman was thinking, I can't be sure. But she almost seemed...hateful. The man she was with had an apologetic expression.
There was a pair of sisters not too long after, not even three minutes after, that spotted me and laughed before looking down and hurrying past.
People with some disability or another would just get the biggest smiles on their faces. Smiles of understanding, reassurance, and excitement. The excitement I believe was for, "You get me!" ...I really feel like I do on some levels. It makes me sad to think that someone with a disability would get those kinds of reactions from people on a daily basis. But, sadly, I think they probably do. I noticed that they were a lot less...well, before when I'd see someone disabled in a store, I'd make sure to smile at them. Sometimes they'd smile back, but a lot of times they seemed to just keep to themselves - some of them even felt confrontational to a degree. They weren't yesterday. I think the attitudes I've observed before probably come from being treated so badly. ._. Staring, laughter, shunning.
I knew before I went out that I'd probably get stared at a little. I wasn't fully prepared for the extremities of some of the reactions. Honestly, I felt hurt. >.> I...wanted glare a few times by the end of the day. I didn't, but I wanted to. I'm not diseased. I have to wear a mask right now so that I don't wind up bed-ridden for some weeks. Even wearing a mask didn't prevent some allergic reactions. But I was treated like I was something...I don't even know how to describe it. And I think it was a little worse than it could have been, because I can pick up on vibes from people very easily. It's hard to explain...I guess..."intuition" comes closest? Anyway, it just means I have an easier time telling something about a person; emotions and attitudes are not hard to discern. I probably could have had my eyes closed and told you what people were feeling towards me.
Anyway, continuing with more positive reactions. I noticed, not to sound like I'm stereotyping or something, but I noticed that...ah...I don't know how to put it non-offensively. -///- I mean, I don't mean to offend - and I don't know that it would be offensive. But...I don't want to sound like some ignorant, stereotyping white girl. You know? *sigh* I'm sorry if the following is offensive at all, I don't intend for it to be. I'm simply stating observation.
Persons from Asia, I think specifically China, didn't give me bad reactions. But I got a few confused looks, like, "Hey! But why?" - so not bad-confused. A few looked contemplative after seeing me. None stared. The reactions were usually very friendly, for which I am grateful. ^^ After noticing this at a few stores, my mom and I were looking at baby clothes again (as I said, baby clothes shopping for friends; this was before the store where the little boy that asked what was on my face). We ran into this lady there, who was super friendly. After an exchange of some comments, she came back and said to me, "I hope you don't feel bad having to wear a mask! My son is asthmatic and he had to wear a mask for a long time." And she told us a little bit about that, and how at some point when he was a child they were at the Zoo. This kid was staring at him, and out of frustration her son finally went, "What?! Haven't you seen someone wear a mask before?" The kid hadn't. So her son replied something like, "Well now you have, quit staring!" We all laughed. Then she went on to tell me that I'd fit right in over in China. Apparently she'd been in China for several weeks a year ago, and she said it's a fashion statement over there. Except they use cute material. :) So I found that interesting, and thought to myself, "Oh! Maybe that's why I've noticed those expressions!" ...I'm so jealous though; a cute mask would make wearing one a lot more fun. XD
And then there were some other people that gave me understanding, and even sympathetic, looks. One of them was a girl who had overheard my mom asking if I was doing alright with the smells and I'd told her the mask was helping a lot. We were leaving the store at the same time, and she smiled at me. Another one was actually a mother. The other two I remember were cashiers. The expressions were almost like, "I've got a family member or friend that's going through something too."
I dunno. It was very interesting. I learned more than I thought I would. Honestly, I left the house not thinking I would come home having learnt something.
So...dear reader, I have a request to make of you. If you see someone in your day-to-day lives that's different from a disability or something - please, please just smile at them. Don't laugh, stare, or shun. Just smile, wave, and be friendly. But don't stare. That can be someone in a wheelchair, with a walker or cane, someone with down-syndrome or low-functioning autism, someone with a hearing aid, someone with...gosh, just anything. Really, it would be nice to be friendly to everyone - you never know what someone is going through. But I feel like maybe people that are more obviously in distress are met with unkind attitudes. I would so very much appreciate that you smile at these individuals. I know it was a nice change of pace for me when someone smiled at me instead of staring. I can't imagine what relief that would be to someone who deals with that unkindness daily.
And if you happen to be a parent - please. Please teach your children to be kind. I beg of you, don't be that parent who hides their kids an aisle over and watches until the "odd" person has left before letting their kids go back to what they were doing. That's teaching fear, prejudice, and cruelty. Please don't do that. :( Please teach them kindness, respect, and that they don't have anything to fear from someone who's "different". The world would be a better place if those things were taught.
Because no one is different. No one. We are all human beings at the end of the day. Why should anyone be treated differently than another?
Thank you, and have a great one! ^^
-Bryn
