Here is my take on true love, dating, and marriage:
It is nothing complicated. It's like breathing. True love is pure and is simply there, inside of you. Love does not call for drama. If you're in love, leave the drama behind and out of the picture. It is unnecessary. Love should automatically mean that there are no third persons. You talk to each other about each other - you don't talk to other people about each other. What good does that do? If you want to know something about or say something to the person you love, just go straight to them. It really saves a lot of issues. If someone loves you, don't question them, don't test them; just accept that they love you and be thankful for that.
If you love someone and they love you back, do not spend time asking anyone, God included, "Why? Why do they love me?" Just spend the time you have together right there with them rather than in your wondering mind. Spend that time grateful and live each moment together as if it was truly the greatest moment of your life. Each moment becomes sweeter if you do. Spend as much time smiling and laughing as possible, let yourself feel the emotion of love. Don't be afraid to feel. It is okay to feel.
Once you have love, you have it. Love really is all you need - the Beatles were right about that one. There is no happier, more complete feeling. yes, you will still have your hard times and you will still have problems that you have to deal with and so will they, you'll likely have problems to deal with together too. But, if your sweetheart is having a hard time, just be there for them; whether they just need someone to listen to them, to talk them through something, or just need you to sit there with them in total silence. But, then, look at each other and think to yourself, "They are here, they are my meaning and reason, I can get through anything because this is my happiness right here." Because you really are each other's happiness - no matter how bad the rest of the world might get, you have each other.
I do not believe in flirting and mind games. In love, there is no secrecy and you shouldn't toy around with each other's minds. That hurts. The point of love is not to hurt one another, but to heal one another and help one another. Yes, you will still hurt each other, but it won't be because you were playing games. It should be because you care about each other so much that sometimes it just hurts a little. Love is looking out for each other, is placing the one you love before yourself. It's a great system if both of you put each other first. Maybe you still make each other upset, but we're humans and that's just bound to happen. But don't prolong anything upsetting if it can be avoided. Resolve it as quickly as possible. Life is too short to spend a long time being upset at your love.
Don't insist on having to be right all the time and do things your way. Love is equal. Both of you have equal say and just work on understanding one another as much as possible. Your love should know you as well as you know yourself...maybe even better. And you should know them just as well. Women, you are not always right. Sometimes it is your fault and you just have to accept that and admit it. It's hurtful to the man to say that he's wrong or that it's his fault. It's always a joke, "Oh, just let her be right. The sooner you learn that lesson, the less trouble!" But that shouldn't be how it works. And it's the same way flipped around. Men, you aren't always right either. You also need to admit when you're wrong. But then you both just have to forgive each other. Don't say, "It's okay" or "It's fine", because that's like saying, "It's okay for you to do this again"...and that leads to disrespect and mistreatment. Instead say the words, "I forgive you". Because it won't send that subliminal message of "you can do this again", but also because those three words can be some of the most healing and comforting words in the universe, especially coming from the person you love the most in this world.
Confront problems together, as a team. Don't undermine one another. Working together, as you should, will likely eliminate the likelihood of undermining. Obviously, you will hold a lot of sway with one another. Do not misuse that. Don't go, "Oh...I can get my sweetheart to do this because they love me." No, no, no. Do not use each other. Love is not use. Discuss things with one another and decide together. Don't try to manipulate each other.
Love is patience. True love can overcome any obstacle or trial. Why? Love is gentle and sweet, understanding, and can overcome anything because of its calm and peaceful nature...because of its patience to see things through.
I believe in being romantic, and in making your intentions as clear and straightforward as possible. I believe in honesty and open communication. I believe in loyalty and dedication. I believe in time. I believe intimacy should be for marriage only, and I believe in marriage.
Flirting is shallow and flirting means nothing in the end; flirting is forgettable. Romance is deep and something of quality, it creates meaningful memories.
Playing games with one another's heads creates confusion, bitter feelings, and uncertainty...a relationship with that in it simply won't last. Straightforward intentions create clarity and confidence in one another, and that helps to create a solid foundation that will last.
Keeping things in and to yourself creates paranoia because your sweetheart will think you're up to no good, even if that isn't the case. Just talk and be 100% honest - your sweetheart will accept you no matter what - and the talking will create trust and deepen your bond, another thing that helps to create a solid foundation.
If you're in love with someone, let the world know and do not ever have eyes for anyone else - if you keep your relationship on the down-low, that increases your chances of being mistaken for single. If you love someone and they love you, you shouldn't ever hang out with your friend of the opposite gender alone - in fact, a friend of the opposite gender shouldn't be "my friend", it should be "our friend" that you see together.
Don't rush into anything, don't be afraid to take the time to get to know your sweetheart and to develop your love for one another and strengthen it...don't just settle for any old person, settle for your right one and settle when you know you truly love them. You'll know, because you'll feel it in your heart and soul...but also because you'll go to bed thinking you couldn't possibly love them more than you do. But the next day, you love them even more than you did - and that's how it always is.
Don't have sex before marriage because if you have sex with them, they won't see as much of a point to marriage and they may not have the same level of respect towards you because you've already given them everything and they didn't have to wait for it. Waiting should make it more meaningful and sacred - and it should be sacred because the overall purpose of that is to bring life into this world. But respect yourself enough to wait, and that will earn a level of respect for you from your sweetheart as well.
Marriage is beautiful, and it shouldn't be avoided or shunned. That is my belief and I stand by it.
Always, always respect and love one another. Have peace between each other, be one. Don't speak unkind words, don't do unkind things. Never abuse one another in any way whatsoever. That creates a safe, loving environment for you both, as well as the family you may have as time goes on. Love one another and your children...your children will feel a level of love simply by seeing that you love each other.
There are so many problems in the world. Among them are: Cheating, abuse, and divorce.
The following lead to cheating and divorce: Flirting, undermining, secrecy, looking at other people and thinking, "Hmm, attractive" or anything along those lines, having "my friends", harsh words, and neglect/ignorance.
The following lead to abuse in various forms: Secrecy, looking at other people and thinking, "Hmm, attractive" or anything along those lines, harsh words, neglect/ignorance, dominance (example: "I'm right, you're wrong"), and losing your temper to violence.
If you just keep love simple...it simply works. Because love should be simple.
I think the generations that courted had it right. So call me "old fashioned". I am 20 years old, I was born in 1992, and this is how I feel. I feel that "the times" and "modernized love" are all completely wrong. The way they are done now is what leads to all of the problems there are.
Men: Do not be men, be gentlemen.
Women: Respect both yourself and your sweetheart; be a lady.
Remember: Honesty, compassion, respect, loyalty, romance, communication, fun, happiness, laughter, understanding, chemistry, acceptance, teamwork...that's all important to love. You need it all.
With that, I hope you have a loving day, dear reader. :)
-Bryn
