Men find women confusing, or boys find girls confusing. However, most women/girls find most men/boys confusing too so it's all good. But I'm here to offer a glimpse into the teenage mind of females. You may now gasp in shock and dismay at my willing "betrayal" of our secrets. I'll wait, go ahead.
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I'm willing to bet that to some degree all females have a secret fantasy; also known as "wishful thinking". We're all victims of it in the end. Maybe that’s why guys are always like, “You’re so hopeless.” And then we blush and freak out internally ‘cuz we think that it’s Oh-My-Gosh-So-Attractive when a guy says that to us. Thinking about it though, they probably aren’t talking about us in particular. They probably think the situation is hopeless. There we are, stuck in our day dreams, while he sits there patiently waiting for us to come to reality. Finally it’s decided that it’s hopeless to think that will happen any time soon, so he tells us we’re hopeless. Sorry guys. And sorry for breaking it to you gals.
So a peek into our minds then?
Ever since me and my friends and a lot of other girls we knew were in 7th Grade, we've always fantasized of "the perfect guy" and how we'll someday meet him. I blame all those princess stories we grew up with. I know for me and one of my best friends we always pictured a strikingly handsome Elf man. I’d spend hours a day daydreaming about my handsome Elf man and his locks of beautiful brown hair, and his beautiful brown eyes, and his beautiful smile that could steal any girl’s heart. And I was lucky enough that he loved me out of all of the other girls that thought he was just perfect.
Now, before I go too far into this, I'm sure that you're wondering why an Elf man. Because I always secretly wished that there was another dimension somewhere. I eventually half believed it for a short time. And I’d always been a bit fantasy obsessed from a young age.
"So there I would be, walking home from school one day when all the sudden everything would flicker and I'd hear someone calling my name, "Bryn!" At first, I’d be scared and turn to Jane to ask her what was happening. And she would ask what I was talking about. Then I would think I was crazy and we’d go to my house as usual. We’d put our things inside and go into the backyard where suddenly reality would flicker again and this time she’d see it! And this time, her gorgeous dream Elf man’s voice would call her name, “Jane!”
(I know, I know. So silly, so cheesy. We were young and silly back then..!)
And then we'd be all, "Who's there?!" And they’d step out from behind the trees and reach out a hand to us and then..! We’d run forward into their arms and they’d tell us they’d been searching for us for a long time and we’d be all, “I knew you weren’t just a dream!” *SQUEAL OF EXCITEMENT* And then we’d hug and my Elf man would kiss the top of my forehead lovingly and they’d take us away to the other dimension.”
That was just one of many scenarios we dreamt up. As you can well imagine, it interfered with our school work a bit. Mostly mine. I was always writing about him…“Oh, my love! We shall be so happy forever!” It’s a wonder I got through High School. It’s a wonder I was never held back in Jr. High.
So then we delusional gals get to be 15 and 16 and suddenly we take some notice of the guys that were really there. “Oh Em Gee. They are so HOT!! How do I talk to one of them?!” Though we still held onto our daydreams and when a guy came along that was interested…he probably thought we were thinking about a real guy, not a day dream strikingly handsome Elf man from another dimension that doesn’t really exist. Somehow we got through it all…although, many females have been classified as “hopeless romantics”. We always wonder why. It’s probably because we like to picture things in our heads that are so Oh-Ma-Gosh romantic and adorable with some dream guy and then it never happens and we get sad about it. Of course, eventually we leave behind the day dream of the Elf men and those Elf men are soon replaced by … “That cute guy over there! <3”
Even if it’s obvious that he’s not interested in us that way, we can’t help ourselves. “Someday, he’s gonna ask me out! I’ll be sitting alone at lunch time, waiting for my friends to assemble from their classes for our usual group. While I wait, I won’t be eating my lunch because I’d feel silly eating alone. Instead, I’ll be looking off into the distance, dramatically, a lonely expression on my face and he’ll see me from across the crowd and suddenly realize how madly in love he is with me. I’ll turn away, having not noticed him looking at me and open a book to read. He’ll approach me casually, though nervously as his heart is pounding because he’s afraid of rejection. He’ll do something to get my attention and I’ll look up from my book. He’ll tell me that my eyes look gorgeous that day and I’ll shyly say thank you and blush – which he’ll think is so cute! Then, he’ll ask what I’m doing that Friday….” Meanwhile, the teacher is trying to get our attention to ask us if we were paying attention to the lesson.
Of course, the initial thought for any student is, "If you have to ask me that, shouldn't the answer be pretty obvious??" But we can't say that because it's disrespectful.
It’s like this for any girl, I’m positive. Although, being graduated from High School now, I can honestly say that I haven’t see any signs of a strikingly handsome Elf man from another dimension let alone anything that would suggest there really being another dimension. Oh, my heart! Please excuse me for a moment as I look dramatically off into the distance and sigh.
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Truly, it’s a sad thing that we fall victim to our own imaginations – and in the process we don’t notice the real guys until much later! Poor guys…it’s a wonder they still try to talk to us after we unintentionally ignore them. And especially so because by that point we have no skills in carrying a proper conversation and then we freak out. Of course, in our heads it’s all going just the way we like, “And then I accidentally tripped on the stairs and dropped my books. He saw me from afar and stopped what he was doing to rush to my aid! He’ll kneel down next to me as I try to hold back my tears. I’ll feel so embarrassed, too embarrassed to admit that I sprung my ankle when I fell. He’ll help me up, and realize that I’m trying to hold back tears. Suddenly, he’ll pull me into a hug and tell me that it’s alright to cry. He’ll ask who had done this to me! And then I’ll have to admit that it was my own clumsiness. He’ll smile and tell me that he thinks my clumsiness is cute and then offer to walk me to my last class. I’ll insist that its fine, and point out that he’d be late for his class because his class is on the other side of the school. But, smiling, he picks up my books and takes my hand in his. Then he tells me not to worry about it and walks me to class anyway.”
And it's much worse if it’s a guy that actually talks to us and that we for real have a major crush on. In that case, we really have the hardest time talking to them. Until our imaginations kick in a while after attempting to talk with them. “And then I’ll say something funny and he’ll laugh and tell me how amazing I truly am. He’ll blush a little and tell me that he can’t keep a secret anymore, he likes me as more than a friend….”
Oh! And when the time comes for a date dance. Splendid. That excitement of thinking we might get asked to go with someone really fuels the imaginings! “I’ll be feeling a little sad and left out because all my other friends are getting asked to the dance, but I’m not. The guy that I like isn’t going with anyone yet, in fact no one knows if he’s even asked anyone. I keep hoping against hope that he’s trying to work up the courage to ask me, but must face that he probably isn’t. I’ll walk into my classroom a few minutes early, feeling too sad to be around my friends. And on the board, he’s written “Bryn Wills you go to the dance with me? Awaiting your answer, <insert guy’s name here>” and the board will be decorated with paper flowers and hearts that he spent all night cutting out. And then I’ll let out a small squeal of excitement and ask the teacher, who gave permission for the use of his board, where he went! He’ll say he isn’t sure and I’ll run to the doorway, forgetting about my backpack in the middle of the floor. He’ll turn the corner, grinning, and be holding a bouquet of pretty flowers that he’d gotten early that morning before school started so that they were fresh. And all I’ll be able to say in my excitement is, “YES!!” And then after putting the flowers on my desk (and putting my backpack by there too) we’ll hug and start talking about what group we could go with and what colors we should do….”
It never happens the way we picture it though...in fact, sometimes the guy we're picturing never notices us. But we picture it anyway and wind up feeling sad. Such a hopeless thing. Eventually we grow out of it enough to focus on life. But those first few years of noticing guys, well…it almost seems like it’s programmed into our behavior. Although, some gals are probably a little worse than others when it comes to this. Well, girls, let me offer some girl-to-girl advice. Don’t get too lost in the “Oh-My-Goodness-How-Cute!” daydreams. Because there’s a good chance you’ll find a perfectly awesome guy wanting to ask you out that isn’t sure if you’re interested in him or not. Often the best guys are the ones who are patient enough to wait for us to get over our delusional day dreams.
